Ruining The Essential Toadness
by Demon Wolfie
Summary: Pietro ruins Todd's 'Toad-ness'... But how? You'll have to read to find out! *Re-uploaded, with fixed typos*


6/20 Edit- ^_^' Just re-uploading with a few typos and such fixed.   
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Even my soul belongs to the devil.  
  
A/N: Ok... well... First off, this is my first Evo fic. Well, first one I've deemed worthy of posting on ff.net. ^_^'' Inspired by a very strange conversation me and a friend were having about my muses- my Todd and Pietro muses, specifically. ^_^''  
  
A/N2: This happens in my happy little world where there's absolutely nothing wrong within the Brotherhood. Pietro hasn't betrayed them, Lance has no interest in Kitty ::growls at her:: and there are no women-folk around (no Rogue, no Tabitha, no Mystique, no Wanda) Like I said, happy little world where there's absolutely nothing wrong within the Brotherhood. I suppose you could call that slightly AU, if you wanted... ^_^  
  
Warnings: Language, possible overuse of the word 'yo', a disturbingly clean Toad, a frighteningly hyper (too much coffee... and sugar... and coffee) kleptomaniac Pietro, and all around... strangeness.  
  
~*~  
  
Ruining The Essential Toadness  
  
by Wolfie  
  
"If you don't start stripping right now, I'll come over there and do it for you!"  
  
"No way, yo! ACK! Get away, ya fruit!"  
  
"Jesus! Hold still! This isn't gonna kill you!"  
  
"But it is! NO! Not in there!"  
  
Fred blinked, slightly startled by the noise coming from inside the bathroom. Slowly, he backed away from the closed door and then turned to peer into Lance's room. The brown haired teen was sitting on his bed, strumming his guitar almost thoughtfully, and didn't bother to look up.  
  
"Um... Lance? I... I think Pietro's raping Todd in the bathroom..."   
  
The rock-tumbler waved a hand dismissively, shaking his head.  
  
"Nah. Just making him bathe."   
  
Fred blinked, as he had outside the bathroom.  
  
"Oh. I guess that DOES make more sense..."  
  
~*~  
  
Todd screamed for all he was worth as Pietro held him down in the soapy water with one hand, using the other to pour shampoo on the younger mutant's matted hair.  
  
"Get off! Aahhhh! Make it stop! It BURNS, yo!"  
  
Pietro rolled his eyes.  
  
"It does not. Now sit still before I bring Lance into this."  
  
Todd quit wriggling immediately. Somehow, the image of LANCE forcing him to take a bath was even scarier than the reality of Pietro doing so. Not that he was happy with his current situation. Oh, HELL no.   
  
How had he gotten himself there, anyway...?  
  
~Thirty Minutes Earlier~  
  
"I'm home!!"   
  
Pietro zipped into the living room and flopped himself down on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. Almost as soon as he sat down, his knee began bouncing, seemingly of it's own accord. Beside him, Todd was trying to pretend he didn't have a dangerously hyperactive Pietro sitting so close. Because... well, it was dangerous.  
  
"Are you guys just gonna ignore me?"  
  
Pietro's whined question went unanswered. Todd was attempting to draw with his toes and Lance was attempting to play his guitar. Fred was... gone. Probably in the kitchen, Pietro reasoned.  
  
"You two suck! Guess what I did today? ComeOnComeOn! GuessGuessGuess!"  
  
Lance cracked first, sighing heavily and glaring at the speed demon through his messy bangs.  
  
"I don't know, Pietro. What DID you do?"  
  
Todd would have smacked Lance for asking, if he were not so deathly afraid of the older boy's reaction.   
  
"I'm so glad you asked! See- FirstIWokeUpAtFiveAndWentRunningAndThenIStoppedAtStarbucksAndGotACupOfCoffeeEvenThoughYouAlwaysTellMeI-  
  
Shouldn'tHaveCoffeeIDon'tKnowWhyYouSayThatI'mPerfectlyFineAnywaysThenIWentOverToTheSchoolAndBrokeIntoSome-  
  
LockersAndIGotAboutFiftyBucksBecauseSomeStupidIdiotForgotTheirWalletWasn'tDanielsThoughI'mSurprisedThe-  
  
DumbAssActuallyLearnedSomethingForOnceOhYeahAndThenIWentBackToStarbucksAndHadAnotherCupOfCoffeeAndThen-  
  
IWentToTheMallAndStoleMyselfANewPairOfSneakersCauseMyOldPairGotAllWarnOutFromMyRunThisMorningAndWhileI-  
  
WasThereIPickedUpAPairOfBlackLeatherPantsBecauseWeAllKnowHowGoodMyAssWillLookInThemAnd-"(1)  
  
"Did you do anything BESIDES steal shit, klepto?"  
  
Pietro blinked. Did Lance just... cut him off? He couldn't believe it! No one cut him off!!  
  
"Yes," He replied, rather pointedly, "Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely INTERRUPTED- Damn, Todd. You stink."  
  
The youngest mutant grinned.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"That WASN'T a compliment, weirdo. Seriously, you reek!"  
  
"I just took a shower last week!!"  
  
"Last... Week?!"  
  
Pietro seemed horrified by the idea. Todd blinked, not really sure what Pietro's problem was. Other than the copious amounts of sugar and caffeine he was sure the snowy haired teen had ingested over the course of the day, that is.  
  
"That IS kinda gross."  
  
"Kinda?!"  
  
Pietro's voice reached a completely new octave, making both Lance and Todd jump. The eldest stared for a long moment, then shook his head and looked back down at his guitar.  
  
"Go take a shower! NOW!!"  
  
"No way. You ain't my mother."  
  
"I'm glad I'm not! Go take a shower before I drag you upstairs and wash you myself!"  
  
Todd's eyes widened to an impossible size.  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
Pietro raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Try me."  
  
"Lance! HELP!"   
  
Todd attempted to hop away, but Pietro was too quick- as he tended to be- and grabbed him by the ankle before he was completely off the couch. He hit the floor with a rather loud 'thud'.  
  
"Get 'im off! Get 'im off, yo! HEEEEEEEEEEELP!"  
  
Try as he might, Todd couldn't get away, and before he knew it, Pietro was dragging him across the living room, up the stairs, and into the bathroom.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey!"  
  
A sharp flick to the forehead snapped Todd out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Pietro glaring at him, appearing rather exasperated.  
  
"FirstYouRefuseToGetINTOTheTubAndNowYou'reSpacin'OutWhenISayYouCanLeave!"  
  
A grin spread over the younger mutant's face, grabbing the towel Pietro held out to him and quickly wrapping it around his waist as he got out of the bathtub. But he stopped dead when he caught his own eyes in the mirror.  
  
"What the hell did you do to me?!"  
  
Pietro rolled his eyes, irritated.  
  
"You're CLEAN, stupid. And I had no idea your hair was dark blonde."  
  
"You... You... You've ruined my essential Toad-ness!" (2)  
  
Pietro rolled his eyes again.  
  
"Whatever. Just... STAY clean this time, huh?"  
  
"Not a chance, yo."  
  
Pietro's gaze darkened.  
  
"Stay clean, or we'll make this a daily ritual."  
  
...  
  
And Todd Tolansky's shriek was heard throughout the state.  
  
~fin~  
  
::snicker:: Poor Todd. I'll make sure he gets some revenge on Pietro for... um... making him... clean... ^_^'' Strange Toad Logic... ^_^ Whatever.   
  
This was really just a bunch of (rather uncharacteristic, for me) silliness. Not really written to be emotionally moving with flowery words an' all that shit. But be sweet and review anyways, huh? Constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames ain't. (Though, I really don't know what you could possibly find TO flame...) They will be laughed at and then used to burn flamers at the stake.   
  
(1) I apologize for the wonkiness here, but my computer and ff.net ganged up on me and made Pietro's little rant come out looking funny...  
  
(2) Reference to Kim Possible. Original line- "You've ruined my essential Ron-ness." (actually, it might've been 'taken away' his essential Ron-ness... but same diff. You get the idea) 


End file.
